Matt and I have returned from New York City. Did anyone—besides that kitty overhead—miss me?

Honestly, I still don’t feel like cooking anything overly elaborate (personal reasons which I will not discuss here) but after a week of rich foods and awesome restaurants, I have to make something. Thankfully, the Southern Queen of Gluttony, Paula Deen, is here to help out.

I suppose you could call this a sandwich spread only. But you could also serve it on crackers; Saltines, preferably. Either way: it was easy , tasty and good enough for a lazy sad girl like me.

Spicy-Sweet Ham Salad

adapted from “Paula Deen: It Ain’t All About the Cookin’,” by Paula Deen (Simon & Schuster, 2007)

about 8 oz. cooked cured ham (leftovers from a whole ham are fine), fat trimmed off

1 cup minced celery

1/4 cup minced sweet onion, such as Vidalia

1 tsp. yellow mustard, more to taste

2 hard-cooked eggs, finely chopped

1/4 cup drained hot pickle relish or finely chopped hot pickles

1/2 cup mayonnaise, or more to taste

salt and black pepper to taste

In a food processor, pulse ham just until finely chopped but not pasty. Transfer to a bowl and stir in remaining ingredients. Add more mayonnaise as needed to make mixture hold together. Add mustard and salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately or refrigerate up to 3 days.