This is Ozzy. Ozzy is by far the most affectionate wonderful cat on Earth, but smart he isn’t.

Before you say that’s too cruel, let me also say this: Sometimes I’m right up there with him. I too am clumsy, ungainly, and often don’t think before I act.

My most damning evidence for all this comes from last night’s unintentional food debacle.

Everything was going pretty perfectly.

I had browned the ground chicken breast; I boiled the brown rice in some chicken broth for extra flavor. As I prepared the beans, onions, and peppers, I set the skillet of chicken off to the side on the stovetop, and opened the cabinet overhead to withdraw the spices I would need to finish my meal. Now if you have been to my flat, you are aware that while my kitchen isn’t miniscule, it’s still pretty small. Not a lot of counter space nor storage space. My spices and oils and vinegars are all gathered willy-nilly in an above cabinet and sometimes extracting something for my use is quite tricky. So tricky, in fact, that in searching for my bay leaves, my impatient fingers allowed a recalcitrant package of cayenne powder to come tumbling out of the cabinet and somewhere heartbreaking.

All over my ground chicken. Layered in a fine patina of rust red was my chicken; my unseasoned chicken. (I was going to take a photograph but at the moment, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.) What didn’t get on the chicken got all over the stove. Taking a deep breath, I added the spices I was supposed to to the remainder of the dish and cleaned up what I could only term as a “shitload” of cayenne pepper from stove. As for the chicken? I was determined to make lemonade out of this spicy lemon and added it to the finished dish. It didn’t make it inedible, but it definitely made it a lot more fiery than I wanted or expected.

I tempered some of the heat with some reduced fat sour cream. It worked…a little. Ah, culinary disasters. Anyway, here’s the recipe as it was before I screwed it all up with my grace and genius.

Chicken, Black Bean & Rice Skillet

1 cup brown rice

14 oz. chicken broth (I used a reduced sodium kind)

3/4 cup of water

1 tbl. olive oil

1 medium chopped onion

1 medium chopped red bell pepper

1 15 oz. can rinsed black beans

1 bay leaf

3 tbl. red wine vinegar

1/2 tsp. liquid smoke

1 lb. ground chicken

Combine rice, broth, water; cook according to package directions. Drain and set aside. Brown chicken in a nonstick skillet. Drain of excess grease and also set aside. Meanwhile, heat oil in a large skillet (nonstick or no, your choice) on medium heat. Add onion and bell pepper and cook 5 minutes until softened; stir occasionally. Stir in black beans, bay leaf, vinegar, liquid smoke and some pepper to taste. Cook on low, uncovered, for 5 minutes. Add the rice and chicken; fold gently with the black bean mixture. Cover, turn off the heat, and let stand on the burner for another 5 minutes. Voila! Easy peasy.